Saturday, January 14, 2012

Everybody Meet Natalie Baum, No! Everybody Meet Callie Mallory

Hey Everybody,

Natalie Baum here…I know, I know, Natalie who? Give me one minute I think you'll understand the whole deal…the real deal too, none of that fake crap that men in dark nightclubs try to pass off as real. Like their rock-hard chest, or extra fat wallet or really thick fingers…not right making false claims to unsuspecting, trusting women just because we're—THEY—are curious! But I digress…

Although I'm not new to writing I am new to writing romance and erotica stories. My latest title, Chicago Adventure, is the first book in the Callie Mallory series, was released on December 22,2011 and is available here @ Noble Romance Publishing.

Enough with the nuts and bolts of the situation though…boring…I want to take a few minutes and completely introduce myself. I like to think I have a fun, interesting life, even if only when seeing the world through my characters' eyes. Thankfully, my characters scream pretty loudly making it impossible for me to avoid their desires and demands.

Not very nice, the way you're talking about me like I’m not here!

Case in point, my spirited, opinionated, adventurous current leading lady, Callie Mallory.

A little better…but hello! You forgot beautiful, sexy and savvy-smart!

Savvy-smart? I don't even know what that is.

Exactly, but I do.

Did I forget to mention that Chef Mallory is also mouthy, excessively independent and a bit neurotic?

If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black? You wrote me.

Indeed I did, and with that in mind I will now once again take charge of this interview.

I have to take my ham out of the oven, anyway.

Perfect timing, Chef Mallory. But before you go why don't you tell our readers what type of glaze you used on your holiday ham?

I love glaze! It's the perfect texture to rub all over your partner's body. Start by instructing your lover to take off his shirt and roll over on his stomach. Use your fingertips to gently massage the glaze into his shoulders and then lean forward, your lace-covered breasts hovering inches above his bare skin, and take your time licking him clean inch by inch. 

Chef Mallory! How does all that sex have anything to do with the recipe?

Clearly, your kitchen isn't half as hot as mine, Ms. Baum, if you have to ask that.

Well, one of us has to work to keep the heater running in our apartment in the winter. 

I create my own heat.

Yes, I know, all those sexy suitors you meet on your travel adventures. They all want you and can't control themselves when around you. Can we just move on to the ingredients, please?

As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, you only need a few ingredients to make a delicious ham glaze.
  • 1 cup apple butter
  • 1/2 cup orange juice
  • 1 tablespoon dried onion flakes
  • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
And once you return from the market with your edible goodies, just do this:

** Whisk together the apple butter, orange juice, dried onion flakes, and Worcestershire sauce in a small saucepan. 

One of my favorite things about this recipe is that after you've turned your stovetop burner to low, the sauce needs to simmer until it thickens. This wait period offers the perfect chance to baste another part of your lover's body with left-over apple butter and suck it off—

Inch by inch…yes, I think we've got it Chef Mallory. Thanks for the unsolicited tip! Off you go. 

So bossy…

No! You just don't listen unless I completely cut you off.

Bossy, bossy, bossy…

Listen up readers: DO NOT listen to Chef Callie Mallory. Natalie Baum is not bossy!!!

And you talk about yourself. Who talks about herself in third person?

If you want to hear more from this sassy vixen, pick up a copy here at my page, or visit my fucking website,, or go to my blog, Natalie Baum Romance, and check out Callie Mallory Chicago Adventure. 

Ooohhh! You said fuck, maybe we're making progress, after all?

Is that your sauce burning, Chef Mallory? I think I see it bubbling.

What? No. Burnt glaze doesn't coat cock properly.

"Happy New Year" everybody! I hope I get the opportunity to know each and every one of you more personally in 2012.

Hugs and Kisses,
Natalie (And Callie!!)


vitch36 said...

What a fun interview. Sounds like you have your hands full with Callie!

J.S. Wayne said...

Hi, Natalie!
I'm usually a lot more active around here. I blame the scheduling gremlins who decided I wasn't busy enough already, AND stole my chef's hat and spork to boot!
Loved the character, uh, interview? Welcome to the madness! :)

NatalieBaumSexy said...

Hey J.S.--Watch me as I now start blaming all of my tardiness on "scheduling gremlins." Brilliant explanation for never having enough time to adequately write or network. Having said that, I do somehow amazingly always manage to find appropriate time to conduct Callie Mallory related research. ;) Thanks for the nod to the "spork" too. I blush at the thought of what she could do with such a utensil in the kitchen. That woman is out of control and always barging in when I'm trying to have simple conversations.