Sunday, March 6, 2011

*Facepalm!* *Headdesk!* WTF?!?! And Other Epic Fails

  It would not surprise me in the slightest to learn that the other authors on the Noble Romance Blog Tour in April are starting to wonder if I can really be that stupid.
     Sadly, ladies, the answer is: YES I CAN!
     (You can't see this at home, but imagine me hanging my head in shame for a moment.)
     Start with my contribution to the planned anthology for the prize package. I intended to send it to one, uno, ein, ichi-ban person for beta-reading and editing. Inadvertently, I posted to the entire loop. So then I facepalmed and, with a sigh of resignation and my usual dark humor, said, "Anyone who wants to take a potshot, go ahead." Luckily, none of them took me up on it.
     If you don't know what a facepalm is, here's an example:
Heavy-metal facepalm for a heavy-metal screwup.
     Moving right along, we find me sitting at my computer, merrily trying to upload a banner for Eden Fantasys to my blog. Should have been a three-minute process. But somehow, I managed to miscopy the HTML code for the banner I chose. Result: a huge blank spot in my blog. This led directly to *headdesk.*

Yeah, it felt EXACTLY like that.
     Then I deleted the area that I was trying to upload. . . Or thought I did. What really happened was that I managed to delete the banner that Cherie made for the blog tour. This prompted a very loud and animated "WTF?!?!" which, of course, scared my puppy, Munchkin, right under the bed. This, in turn, made me feel SO much better. Not only had I accomplished an epic fail of Biblical proportions, but I had also managed to traumatize my Norfolk terrier.
     After a lengthy round of swearing, cursing, and just out-and-out filth, I calmed down enough to explain to my wife at a volume slightly louder than normal speech what had just occurred. When she finally got done laughing in the face of the menacing glower I turned in her direction, she suggested that I put out a call for help. "Why don't you turn on the Bat-signal and see if someone has it?" she asked, her gales of laughter finally subsiding to mere titters.
     Teeth grinding, I did, grimacing at my own stupidity and anticipating a chorus of laughter at what I had done. The text of the email, and I swear I'm not making this up, read as follows:
     It's going to be one of THOSE nights.
     Can someone please send me the html to Cherie's moving banner? I seem to have inadvertantly deleted it while fighting with my blog.
     Thank you.
     This post has been brought to you by the numbers 1 and 3 and the letter AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!
     Enter Bianca Sommerland and Cherie de Seus, both of whom took pity on me and sent along the code. Minutes later, everything was fixed and I was puttering along.
    Through all of this, to their immense credit, not one single person was anything but wonderful and supportive. Not one person rolled their eyes (that I know of) and said, "Stupid newbie." And if they did, hey, trust me when I say I had it coming.
     I learned a lot of valuable lessons this month. One of the most important ones is that writers stick together and support each other. We're an awfully odd breed, and some of the conversations we have could ONLY be possible with other writers outside the confines of an insane asylum.
     To all the ladies involved in the blog tour, R. Renee Vickers, Jane Ellis, my dear friend "Amanda," and of course Erin, I thank you all. I would never have made it this far without all of you.
     Until next time,
     J.S. Wayne
     Visit me on my personal blog at

     (Note: I do not own the rights to any images contained in this blog, and they are intended purely for illustration and humor purposes.)


Margie Church said...

JS - erm, I'm in love with your wife. I adore a woman who can find humor in a situation like yours. I'm not so sure I want to be considered odd - I like unique better - that way the sidelong glances are more tolerable. I wish you the best of luck with the tour and wish I could have joined. and stay away from the delete, too, is deadly.

J.S. Wayne said...

She's the greatest. I've asked her a hundred times if she can put up with me being a professional writer for the next...oh, hundred years or so. Despite my foibles, she assures me she can.
And I learned my lesson about the delete key! :D
Thanks for stopping by!

R. Renee Vickers said...

See what wonderful things happen from "accidents"?! If the "delete indecent" (code name Operation White Wash) hadn't taken place then you wouldn't have had anything to talk about!!!

Now...what you didn't realize is that there are secret operatives watching your every move (NO DON'T TURN AROUND)...they'll know I've been talking to you, then we'll have to take desperate measures....ahem...I digress. See, Operation White Wash was a strategic move to solidify the government's plot to pull your pants down in public. BECAUSE if they'll get you noticed, which will mean more publicity, meaning you'll make a profit...and sell stuff...and ONE DAY...they'll get a percentage of your money for taxes to be able to research and develop more such operations.

See???? It's cyclical...and completely intentional. But say nothing about this to ANYONE...

Shhh...I wasn't here.

J.S. Wayne said...

Well, that explains a lot. Don't know about the bit about being pantsed in public, though... kinda think that might hurt my rep.
I KNEW it was a conspiracy!! :D

Jane Ellis said...

I have to say I agree with Renee. I can't comment upon the operation - official secrets act you see, however it did do it's job! As a writer we use the ability to turn the darkest and quite often most random things into pieces of art for other's amusement. This is something you have once more demonstrated here! =D

J.S. Wayne said...

Someone once told me it was a good thing I had a sense of humor, because otherwise I'd have no sense at all!
It wasn't any fun going thorugh it, and more than one I found myself longing for a bottle of Jack Daniels. But I made it through, sans the sauce, and can certainly see the funny side of it now.
Thanks for dropping by!

H.C. Brown said...

Ah J.S you underestimate yourself.
You are a much needed ray of sunshine. Those of us on the blog tour value all the time and effort you have put into this too :-)


AllureVanSanz said...

For a second there, I thought this was a day in the life of Allure. Glad to know I'm not the only one who takes an hour for a five second blog update.

Thanks for the laugh JS!


Allure Van Sanz

Sarah Ballance said...

And there I was just glad it wasn't ME! Talk about instant camaraderie! (<<wow, that word didn't require spell check. Go, me! Unless I'm so far off that spell check did an epic WTF and gave up.)

I think I like you a little more every time you type something, my friend. ;c) (Not because of any type of EF ... because you always make my day a little brighter. Just wanted to clarify that point, LOL.)

Bianca Sommerland said...

J.S all I can say is...


You've helped me so much, finding a code was nothing. Honestly I think you're keeping several us Noble blog tour author's sane. And I know with me that ain't easy. ;)


J.S. Wayne said...

Y'all are very, very sweet. I'm so proud and honored to be doing the tour with all of you.
No, Allure, it's not just you.
For everyone else: Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.