Friday, August 5, 2011

Behind The Mask

     I've talked a lot about angels and various other creatures, and how these creatures can be used in a romantic story, even an erotic romance story.

     Today, I'm not going to do that.

     Instead, I'm going to tell you about ME. Who the guy behind the words is. What makes me tick. What makes me laugh. What I do in my "off hours."

     I often laugh when someone calls me "Mr. Wayne." It triggers an almost irresistible impulse to do a bad Michael Keaton impression and say, "I'm Batman" with appropriate drama and gravity, but sans Mr. Keaton's acting chops.Yeah, I'm the first to admit I suck at impressions. . . except for the Swedish Chef. Not sure what that says about me, but I'm sure any shrink worth their shingle would have a field day.

    I'm an inveterate comic book dork. Ever since the age of thirteen, I've been fascinated by the struggles of comic book heroes and their efforts to fit into the world they serve. Part of that comes from being a skinny, bookish kid who read Beowulf and Roland and Oliver (bonus points to anyone who's familiar with the latter) while other kids in my class were trying to get through Beverly Cleary. I was the kind of kid whose mere presence was like throwing a T-bone steak in the middle of a pack of starving, feral dogs.

     That disconnect from my peers lasted well into my early twenties. As a result, I found refuge in the trials and travails of the X-Men, Superman, Spider-Man, and others of their ilk. Some of my best friends became the people in my own head, making it all but inevitable that I would one day seek to put those people on paper and thus make them "tangible." Or suffer a psychotic break. Whichever came first.

     To this day, I'm still a "dork." I like games like White Wolf tabletop gaming and Magic: The Gathering. I'm not exactly pro material, but I can sit down at a chessboard against just about anyone I know and at least fight them to a standstill. Some of my favorite memories are Saturday nights in Las Vegas with my wife and a small group of our friends, gathered around a table with pencils and sheets of paper or decks of elaborately illustrated cards, drinking beer and talking nine miles of smack to one another, playing one game or another until the wee small hours of the morning.

     I still like to curl up with a good book versus hitting the town, although I will confess to being something of a karaoke junkie. I can't dance worth a damn, having three left feet, so I don't usually try. If you should ever have occasion to see me on a dance floor, odds are I've had a snootful and someone else will be driving me home. I'm nothing to brag about at pool or darts, and I often insist that whatever team I'm on should be spotted points from the get-go by virtue of being cursed with the misfortune of having drawn the short straw that saddled them with me.

     There's nothing like a good time; I work hard at what I do, and don't play nearly as much as my wife and family would like. But when I do play, I play just as hard, until I can't possibly keep my eyes open anymore. My wife has actually more than once physically dragged my chair away from the computer (easy to do as it's on casters) and insisted that I take a night off. These battles of wills usually begin with us looking daggers at each other; most often, they end with me thanking her for giving me something I hadn't realized I needed until it was literally forced upon me.

     But after the fun, the mask goes back on. And I go back to being Mr. Wayne. I'm no superhero, and I don't save worlds or pull people out of burning buildings.

     I create worlds, and sometimes put people INTO burning buildings.

     Not exactly a task worthy of Superman, but in its own way, just as demanding. Just as rewarding. And a whole lot more fun than having to fly hither, yon, and back again to the constant cries of "Save me, Superman!" Besides, if all else fails, I can let my inner arch-villain out for a short walk and press the big red button.

    Oops. *Sigh* Then I get the broom and dustpan and start putting everything back together again.

     Thanks for coming to hang out with me today! If you want to know what I've got on offer right now, just go over to and enter my name.
     Tell 'em Mr. Wayne sent you.

     Until next time,


     J.S. Wayne

*Note: As always, I do NOT own the rights to any images displayed herein, and they are included here for illustration and humorous impact only. Superman, Doomsday and Batman are trademarks of DC Comics.


BL Bonita said...

What a great peek into your life, Mr. Wayne. ;-) Love it. I was a loner is school, but I thought I was pretty cool cause I always had a flask in my pocket. lol And today, well, I can relate to being forced to take time off. It's too easy to sit at the keyboard all day and night long, living in the world I've created. But we do need breaks, so kudos to your wife for taking you by the horns!


J.S. Wayne said...

Thanks, Bon!
I'll never understand how she puts up with me, my assurances that I'm just a starter husband to the contrary. I was disgustingly straight during high school, but believe you me, I made up for lost time later on!

Margie Church said...

WE gotta sing in Vegas, baby! I wanna put that on my bucket list that I sang in Vegas with Mr. Wayne. I have a shower voice. I'll pretend I'm in the shower - you will close your eyes. ROFLMAO I hope Erin can sing too. That way she can't take pictures. ;-) See you in a month. I can hardly wait.

J.S. Wayne said...

LOL Sounds great, Margie! I think I found just the place...if you're willing to subject yourself to the confines of a moving vehicle with ME in the driver's seat :P